Picture this: It’s Sunday morning, your bathtub decides to impersonate the Titanic, and your toilet thinks it’s a decorative water fountain. You need a plumber and fast. But how do you choose one that won’t just show up with a plunger, tap it twice like a magic wand, and say “All done!” while your bathroom now looks defunct.
Fear not, my waterlogged friend! Here’s the ultimate guide to finding the plumber of your dreams:
7 Tips for Finding a Good Plumber
1. Super Plumber vs. Regular Guy with Wrench
Your ideal plumber should be somewhere between a superhero and that random guy who claims he “fixed a leak once” at his aunt’s house. If his tool belt has candy bars, a rubber ducky, or more than three unidentifiable gooey things, maybe reconsider.
2. Reviews, Reviews, Reviews
While Aunt Bertha’s Facebook post about “that lovely young man who fixed the potty” is touching, you might want to rely more on well-rounded local plumbing reviews. And if all his reviews are from his mother, run. Run fast.
3. That Mysterious Liquid
If a plumber visits and can’t tell water from mysterious-other-liquid, you might have a problem. Bonus tip: if they taste it to figure it out, show them the door (and maybe suggest they see a doctor).
4. The ‘Estimate’ Dance
When asking for an estimate, if your plumber starts to cha-cha, moonwalk, or mimes being trapped in a box, you might want to ask for a written quote instead. And if they avoid giving one altogether, well, remember you want someone transparent, not translucent.
5. Certified vs. Certifiably Mad
Sure, we all enjoy the occasional mad scientist or eccentric artist, but maybe not in the person responsible for your home’s pipes. Make sure they have legit certifications, not just a handwritten note that says “Plumbing is cool, I guess.”
6. Time is Money
If your plumber’s concept of “I’ll be there in an hour” turns into a biannual event, maybe it’s time to look for someone a tad more punctual. Unless, of course, you enjoy having indoor pools.
7. The Van
The state of a plumber’s van can say a lot. A black van with no windows screaming “Free Candy” might not be the one you want parked in your driveway. But if it’s neat, organized, and doesn’t look like it’s been through the apocalypse twice, you’re on the right track.
8. Post-job Cleanup
A good plumber leaves your house looking like they were never there, not like a scene from a disaster movie. If you find yourself in need of a bulldozer post-repair, perhaps they weren’t the right choice.
So there you have it, my soggy companions! May your pipes forever flow freely, your bathrooms remain unsunken ships, and may you always pick the plumber who’s more superhero than just a dude with a wrench. Happy plumbing! 🚽🛠️🦸♂️
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